The first impact
was too soft, I was worried that some portion of her might get in the way so I
went easy. She giggled more and her towel fell down obstructing my view, I
reapplied the towel and lined up another shot.
I nailed it
a good one and I could see the vibrations from the impact translated across her
flesh like the ripples of a stone tossed in a lake. The giggling continued with
every hit, it was annoying her giggling, just the squelly tone and rise and
fall of it like a roller coaster, grated on me.
I had to
get the damn toilet off, sweat was now pouring from my forehead and getting in
my eyes. My lieutenant asked if maybe one of the other guys should give it a
shot. I said no as I once again moved her towel back into position and out of
my face.
After too
many delicate swings of the hammer I decided to whack the hell out of that damn
bolt. It worked and the bolt went flying. “Got it.” I scrambled to my feet and
helped the others pull the bowl.
Now you see
firefighters have sneaky ways about them. My partners knew that once Mrs.
Sthuck was freed, she going to have to be reexamined medically, and none of them wanted to do it. That
meant who ever carried the toilet away would be exempt from the task.
A slight
tug of war over the prized piece of porcelain ensued, I lost and the two other
firefighters got possession of the bowl. “We’ll just carry this to the garage
Lou.” “Yeah.” Was all the Lou said. I turned to address Mrs. Sthuck.
“Okay Mrs.
Sthuck let me check you out before you get to moving around too much.” The towel
had to be reapplied again. “Are you hurting anywhere?” I asked. She gave kind
of a whole body shrug in an attempt to elicit any pain. “Well my back hurts,
but it always hurts, and my legs have the pins and needles thing going on.”
I did a
quick head to toe survey and found nothing out of the ordinary. “Let’s see if
you can stand.” The Lou and I got in position to assist her to her feet. Good thing
she had mostly dried out by now and we hadn’t put any lube on her arms or
torso.
“Okay you
ready Mrs. Sthuck?” I asked, “Yeah I think so.” “On three” the Lou said. He counted
down and with all our collective efforts we restored Mrs. Sthuck to her feet.
She stood
there nude, her hands out to her sides’ palms open just getting a feel for
standing again. I grabbed the towel and tried to cover her. The children
cheered their mother’s rescue and they squeezed past me to hug their mother.
“Oh thank
you guys so much.” “No problem mama, that’s what we do.” Said the Lou, “If you’re
sure you are alright we will be getting back in service now. Have a better day.”
Said the Lou.
“What about
my toilet” she asked. “I’m sorry.” The Lou turned back to her. “You have to put
my toilet back.” “Oh sorry Mrs. Sthuck but we can’t do that. You need to
contact a plumber for that.” He smiled at her.
“You took
it off, now put it back.” Her tone changed abruptly and took on a very nasty
edge. “I’m sorry but there is a liability if we put it back, if it were to leak
and damage your house the city would be liable, so you’ll need to get a plumber
or maybe a friend could help.”
“So you are
refusing to put it back?” she took an aggressive and naked stance, it was
unnerving to say the least. “I’m not refusing I’m trying to explain to you how
this needs to be taken care of.”
“What is
your badge number?” she asked. “We don’t have badge numbers, but I can give you
one of my cards.” The Lou dug in his pocket and retrieved one of his cards and
offered it to her. “I need you to write down all of your names on the back.” “Okay.”
The Lou
began writing down the names as the other guys returned. “What’s going on?”
asked one. “I’ll tell you what’s going on, your boss here won’t put my toilet
back, so I’m going to file a complaint on all of you.”
The boys gave
each other a look, “We’ll be with the truck Lou.” And poof they were gone. “I’m
sorry you like that Mrs. Sthuck, my hands are tied on this it is a department
policy. Is there anything else we can do for you before we leave?”
“If you
aren’t putting the toilet back then it is time for you leave.” She kind of
hissed this one. I was moving I didn’t need to hear or see any more of Mrs.
Sthuck.
Sure enough
she was good to her word and a few days later our district chief stopped by to
discuss the call with us. The Lou explained it in detail and the chief took
notes. None of us received any discipline over the matter but the department
did pay the plumber’s charges.
Some days
you are hero others you’re an ass.
