Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Sauza Tequila likes to pimp out Firefighters.

So Sauza Tequila wants you to “Make it with a Fireman” have you seen this ad heating up Youtube?!
The internet is all a buzz over it. I’ll try and fit all of my complaints into a single post here, but that may be very hard.

First off SHAME ON SAUZA TEQUILA! You desperate soul sucking booze pushers. Do you people have any idea how much of the work load of firefighters is the direct result of your poison?

Do you know how much destruction I have personally seen as a direct result of your product? Do you know how many dead people I have pulled out of car crashes as a result of drinking? Do you know how many beaten wives, children, men and innocent bystanders I have taken care of at the hands of drunks? Do you know how many patients I have treated that were dying from alcohol abuse?

The short answer is thousands.

I do understand advertising I have worked in that business and it is all about image and fantasy, and I have written extensively here about the Firefighter fantasy many women have.

I’ve even pimped my own experiences as a Firefighter to attract readers, difference is, I am truthful about my purpose. I never sat around a table of a New York City ad agency and thought up ideas of how to trade on the lives of people I don’t know.

I’m sure Sauza thought this was brilliant, and the buzz they are getting is tremendous. I think a lot of products are missing the boat here. People should follow Sauza’s lead. Gun manufactures should start showing firemen using guns, cigarettes could really benefit from our image. What kid wouldn’t want to smoke if a firefighter did? Heck we could give kids free samples of all these products when we visit schools for Stop, Drop, and Roll, education.

“Here kid don’t forget your free gun, smokes and Sauza.”

Also the ad is just shameless. Doesn’t every man take off his shirt while mixing cocktails, not just firemen? I know we firefighters are well known for taking our clothes off for calendars, so how can I bitch about some booze company doing the same?

Well I have appeared bare chested for charity myself, and that image is right here on my blog. Did you notice the word charity in that sentence? When we do it, that effort is for the benefit of others, usually children, see this link.

Not for the purpose of hocking alcohol to an already drunken society. Geeze the guy has a beard, come on do your homework. He’s a freaking firefighter not a lumber jack (not that there is anything wrong with being a lumber jack, I love your TV show). Having a beard and wearing an air mask are mutually exclusive conditions.

And the kitten? Really? I think you forgot your fireman having a kid in one arm and his mother handing him an apple pie while he shirtlessly is mixing a nice cocktail in preparation to have sex with your daughter after she is so screwed up on booze she can’t say no.

I am an alcoholic and that is a result of choices I made as a man. So I won’t blame Sauza Tequila for my disease. I will describe some of the excuses I used to drink to excess. I used the outright horrors I saw on a daily basis as a firefighter to justify my consumption, and it worked.

A retreat into the bottle became the only coping mechanism I had. Booze robbed me of everything I loved or valued and in the end nearly took my life.

I am sober now and one of my great missions in life is to help all the men and women that save lives on a daily basis and also suffer a great deal from the direct effects of alcohol on their lives.

We are killing ourselves in record numbers as a daily result of your product Sauza Tequila. Here is another helpful link for you.
Maybe you could sit down with your ad agency over a glass of your delicious beverage and read about our deaths and addictions you so helpfully promote. Here is their company link.

Oh TimO it’s just an ad for a legal product, you are over reacting. You are damn right I’m over reacting. I’m mad as hell over this cute little display. Why doesn’t Sauza Tequila use a corporate executive or an ad agency dweeb to sell their shit?

Because you bastards do nothing heroic, you trade on the backs of the men and women that really do make a difference in the world. I have a tip for you Sauza Tequila and EuroChicago see if you can get something positive out of your effort to associate yourselves with real heroes. Apologize and crawl back in your hole.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Clean up your Twitter account.

I reached my limit of being able to follow 2000 people on Twitter the other day and Twitter cut me off. Here is what happens if you don’t know.

How does it work?
This limit actually works on a percentage level (10%), but only when you are almost following 2000 people. As an example, say you have 1900 followers. 10% of 1900 is 190 and adding this to 1900 you will reach a total of 2090. This means that you cannot be following more than 2090. When you reach this limit, Twitter will not let you follow more people, until such a time that your followers plus 10% increases.
Let us take the example above and continue with it.
  • You have now 2090 followers. Add 10% to that and you will get 2299. You can now follow up to 2299.
  • Now you have 2299. Add 10% to that and you will get 230. You can now follow up to 2529.
And it goes on like this. By DiTesco

So I was talking with another blogger friend of mine about my predicament and he said.

“Dude I go through mine like every day and ditch anyone that doesn’t follow me back.”

He uses a program I told him about called SocialBro. It’s a social media management tool like Hootsuite and others that help you with all your downstream social media stuff if you do that.

Anyway I loaded SocialBro and it gives you an option to see people that don’t follow you back. I had over 300. I get half dozen new followers a day and being maxed cramps my style, so I started unfollowing the 300.

I was surprised by who some of the people were, people I thought of as friends. It kind of hurt a little to see they weren’t reciprocating.

Then being a good co-dependant I began to make excuses for them. They have busy lives, who can keep up with all their Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and so on. It wasn’t personal.

I freed up a lot of room on my Twitter account to follow back people that genuinely follow me. As I removed name after name I noticed two patterns. The first was people that had obviously used a follow as a ruse to get a follow back and then quickly unfollow you.

Probably a way of increasing their numbers and working within the rules. I don’t get the whole notion of having a huge number of friends that are in fact unknown to you. I would rather make new friends and interact with old friends.

The second pattern was people that I know in the real world. People I see around town and engage in conversation with, people I consider a friend.

Then it hit me, they aren’t a friend at all. Like the song by Gotye, they are in fact someone I used to know. Many are leftovers from my firefighting career; others are former classmates from various schools I attended.

Still some are acquaintances that decided to pick sides in my divorce and teamed with my Ex, no big deal really that is a choice they made it has nothing to do with me at this point in my life.

Then I decided in a karmic kind of way to apply my Twitter lesson to my very own life, to my mental condition, bare with me. I realized that in fact mentally I carry around a large number of non-followers, dead relationships that still wash up on the beaches of my mind.

They aren’t real any more; they are a figment of my mind. So I have decided to delete as many as I can. Not in a malicious way, in a healthy way. I have taken some lessons, laughs, tears, and some memory of them with me and now it’s time to retire that. I’m not going to scrapbook it and put it on a shelf in my mind somewhere. No I’m just going to do my very best to unfollow those memories.

This happened a few days ago and the results have already proven themselves beneficial, because as I go through this process I realize how easy it really is, and as I free up mental hard drive space the void is being filled God and prayer.

Because I am not replacing thoughts of others in my mind, I am replacing thoughts of myself in my mind. The truth is these people never think of me, I don’t cross their mind on a daily basis and that is none of business anyway.

This is a process of unfollowing my mistakes, my doubts, my ego, and replacing that with thoughts of others. My beautiful parents, my wonderful children, my big sister and brother, my real and true friends.

My best friends stretch all the way back to grade school, three of them have been with me that long and another dozen from high school, and you know what none of them Twitter.

They follow me in the real world, with conversation, and laughs, and hugs, and love. I am a very rich and blessed man and I need to remember that more and the other much less.

Give it a try, start unfollowing your mind.