Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Firefighters are magnificent confident creatures when doing their jobs. Throw anything at them, fire, destruction, death and they laugh at it, bow their necks and go to work.
Trot out a pretty girl in a casual environment and they can lock up a bit, stammer, stumble and run away. For this reason they fall back on a tried and true method that has always worked for them; they run in packs.
The pack affords them a comfortable and well known safety. They can first off rely on their boys to help them interpret the oh so confusing signals cast off by an available female. Alone they are vulnerable and lack confidence, together they know they can risk their lives and trust they will be okay.
Where do they go to party? Where do they go to get their swerve on? Well most have a sort of trap line they follow, a well set order of destinations they are comfortable with and know.
The simplest way to get this information is to ask a firefighter directly, he will tell you. Maybe you have a girlfriend that knows a fireman, or is married to one, ask her. We don’t try to keep it secret, like garden variety men we go to have fun, relax and maybe get laid. So more women is better.
If you aren’t comfortable with this direct approach then a little homework will be needed on your part.
The biggest attractor to firefighters is the availability of recognition; we go where we are known. When we walk in a club we want the bar owner or at least, the bartender to welcome us by name. We drink hard and tip big. Drinking is a game to us, another test of our manhood, who can hold their liquor and who can’t.
So we go to those spots. There is a certain cache to having the local firefighters as your regular guests and a smart bar owner/bartender cultivates that relationship.
Most firefighters at their core are just blue collar workers, we tend not to dress up too much, we don’t necessarily like the hottest new club in town, we like the known.
If you have an Irish themed bar in your town I’d start there on a Friday night. Ask any female employees if she has ever noticed the local heroes hanging in her bar. She will know because if she works there and the boys hang there she will have been hit on at some point by every single one of them.
Look for clues, we like to give away stuff like our old helmets to our favorite establishments and if we have made a donation of firefighter memorabilia it will be hung somewhere in a place of honor above the bar.
If you find one bar they frequent a bit more investigation will reveal where that place falls in their travels. It might be their starting point, the place where they get some liquid courage before moving on.
It might be in the middle of the order or at the end, that doesn’t matter, you are on the trail and the rest will be easy, because if you meet one of these men he will encourage you to join them on their happy journey.
Keep in mind the well known structure and order of the fire station is not always in play in the casual world off duty. Your officer is the boss at work and that is understood. But out and about he might be a stummbler when it comes to women. This is a completely different relationship between these men from work the work of a firefighter is never done. Remember even when they are off duty, in their minds they are still on alert.
Their social order is always in place, with constant movement up and down in the pecking order. So the socially inept officer needs mentoring from some of the players in the group. I give this background information in an effort to help you understand their sometimes slow approach once you have presented yourself.
They have to be coached a bit if they aren’t pure alphas. The pure alphas need no explanation you will know their names before you can get your first drink down. So I’ll concentrate on the less aggressive members of the pack.
Unfortunately alcohol is the preferred social lubricant of these men and can be an irritant as the night wears on, just be prepared and warned. If you seek a one night stand as a woman you can do that anytime, any day, anywhere, and you know that.
No special skill set required for that and like a hungry cut throat trout these men will strike any lure that hits the water. So if you are a catch and release kind of girl you can throw a bare hook at this group and succeed at landing your fish. But if you want a keeper don’t drink like them and don’t let them suck you into drinking like them. Some are predators just like any other species of man and they will play fast and hard.
Once again the people we count on while out and about can be a resource for you. Inquire of the staff if any firefighters hang in the place they will know and be able to point us out. Besides the ritual wearing of firefighter garb is a well known attractor for us, so many times we will be sporting our “Colors”.
Once you have identified your target audience you know what to do, make a feminine display to the entire cluster. We will see it and react; our dilemma will be to discern who the intended man is. Be patient with us, some serious discussion will be needed on our part to see who we will send out as a scout.
So next time I’ll try to give you more tips on what happens after first contact. Until then.
Monday, April 23, 2012
I’ve explained some ways of making a direct approach at the station, but there are other methods available to the more reserved female.
I have identified some of the routine of the firefighter in his normal habitat the firehouse previously so what are some indirect routes to your alpha male?
In good weather and during off hours the firefighters will engage their surroundings by lulling outside the fire station. Especially in the evenings. Depending on the physical location of their residence your opportunity to present yourself to the men will vary.
Neighborhood stations are an excellent location for two reasons. First off they are quiet and less industrial in appearance. Because of this the labor of the firefighters to maintain an appearance suitable to the neighbors is required. Lawns must be mowed, bushes trimmed, and a general rule to blend in is in place.
Secondly because of these activities the guys are out and about, we engage in our neighborhoods. I worked at many stations where in the winter we shoveled the snow off the walks of our neighbors and in the summer hard boundaries of where our lawn began and ended were never observed, we just mowed all the grass around us.
How is this an advantage in your quest? Simple we are always in a state of heightened awareness, just walk by while the boys are outside, they will notice. Put a fire station on your jogging/walking route, we love fit women in nice fitting workout clothing, and you get the added benefit of exercise.
If you make your workout predictable they will habituate to it quickly and somehow always manage to have an outdoor activity around your schedule appearance. One station I worked at we knew the timing of all our regular exercisers. We got so used to their routines that we even became comfortable arranging seats at the opening of the garage area and waiting for that 10 seconds of entertainment.
This may all sound ridiculous but I am not making up stories here, I witnessed events like this on a regular basis and saw many dates arranged purely from this activity. So how does running past a fire station facilitate a meeting?
Get thirsty one day and ask for a drink on the right day from the correct guy, that’s how. Another tactic I saw was the disappearing jogger. We would arrange our chairs as usual and wait for runner to appear, and then there would be a no show.
Terribly confusing for us. We would all check our watches, the calendar, see if maybe daylight savings time had begun unnoticed by us. With no good reason that we could discern for the absence we became concerned, what could have happened to her? Being firefighters our minds would go automatically to the worst case scenario.
Maybe she was run over down the street or fell and was lying injured somewhere. On one occasion we became so concerned we actually got on the truck and cruised our district looking for some sign of her. The next day we informed our relief of her absence and told them to keep an eye out to see if she came by.
A week passed before she reappeared. You would have thought we had an in station alarm by all the associated commotion as she approached. It was agreed that we needed to question her as to her whereabouts for the past week.
As she came closer a couple of us moved from our regular observation post at the opening of the garage to the sidewalk. We flagged her down and she stopped.
“Yes” she said out of breath.
“We were wondering if you were okay.”
“Okay?” she said.
“Yeah, well we hadn’t seen you in the last few days and got worried maybe you had been injured or something.”
She laughed and smiled.
“You guys got worried about me?”
“Well yeah, we’ve kinda noticed you always seem to run by about this time everyday and then one of the guys mentioned he hadn’t seen you in awhile, and being firemen we worried that maybe you had been run over or fallen or something terrible.”
She continued smiling.
“Well I have been on vacation with my girlfriends and just got back. I’m sorry I didn’t advise you guys of my vacation plans, I had no idea you cared.”
“We kind of like to keep an eye on our neighbors and the neighborhood and when something is out of place so to say, we notice, that’s all.” I said.
“Well I had no idea I was so well protected.”
“Safety first, it’s kinda our motto.” I said.
She ended up having lunch with us our next shift and we all got to know her, one of us more than the others. I tell this story because she dated that guy for quite awhile and after sometime had passed she confessed she had almost given up jogging because we were so slow to act. She didn’t realize that under some circumstances firemen are chickens.
Next time I will cover meeting your firefighter in the real world. Being creatures of habit we tend to visit the same clubs where we are first off known and secondly where we have had previous success at meeting women.
Firefighters almost always run in packs and a firm understanding of this group dynamic is required for your success. We will cover that next time.