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Thursday, April 19, 2012
The fire station is still going to be the richest environment to find your guy, but maybe the damsel in distress isn’t your way. What other strategy might you employ?
Do you have a kid or one you can borrow for an afternoon? When I say kid you need one of the appropriate age, too young and your cover story will be obvious, babies aren’t fascinated with all things fireman. Too old and you run the risk of your sister’s disenfranchised teenage son busting you on your quest to land a fireman.
Pick a kid any kid, doesn’t matter the sex, little girls can grow up to be miserable, insufferable, unsatisfied employees just like the guys too. Now the set up is going to be critical, this kid is going to require sufficient post firehouse bribes to not blow your cover.
Make it a good reward you want to keep your coconspirator on task. I have seen a woman turn a brighter shade of firetruck red when her innocent assistant blurted out “Which fireman are you picking Aunt Betty? I wanna go get my ice cream now.”
With a well coached kid in place select your fire station; you should have already preplanned this visit so that you know you are entering a target rich environment. You haven’t preplanned yet you say? Okay let’s cover that.
Preplanning is going to be essential; you don’t want to walk into a firehouse full of old married dudes, or worse yet one with a few women on the crew. Total waste of time, you need to find one with higher odds of single young aggressive alpha males, and where are these?
They are going to be first and foremost a multiple company station, a station with at least two companies residing there, more if you are lucky. Why? Simple more BRTs equal more men.
Just keep your eyes open as you travel your community. Best time to go on an expedition is going to be mid morning on warm days. First, the big garage doors are opened most mornings to air out the station before it gets too warm. Secondly on nice days rolling the trucks outside is just a more pleasant time to do our checks and wash the BRTs.
Keep your eyes open for likely candidates. If you are lucky there might be an inconspicuous business within viewing distance a 7-11 or a Starbucks perhaps, pull in and take a minute to observe your quarry. At this point my advice may sound a bit stalkery and to be truthful it is.
You want one of these guys I don’t, I’m just giving you my best advice on how to get one, and you won’t be the first to try this, I’m not inventing what I’m telling you, I’m sharing proven tactics confessed from the very mouths of successful fireman hunters.
Many of these women (the ones without restraining orders on them) are now proud owners of their very own firefighter. I have heard their confessions voiced while under the influence and in the company of other bragging owners. They tell how easy it was to capture the attention of their intended victim, child’s play they say.
That’s good news if you think about it and I want you to be encouraged here, don’t be a scaredy cat. Lesser women than you have lead successful hunts.
Once you have located what looks to be a target rich environment deploy the kid. The best times for your excursion are going to be after lunch or dinner as most officers allow some downtime following meals and they guys likely won’t be engaged in training or some other distraction. Weekends are also a good time as a more casual work place is allowed on these days.
Just ring the doorbell and wait. Ringing the doorbell will bring nearly the entire crew to the door. This is because people often walk or drive to the fire station with emergencies for some reason and we never now.
Secondly the whole crew shows up because there might be a hot chick at the door, truth. You will know if you are considered a hot chick by the number of men that stay to interact with you. If most wander away, that is a good thing. The unavailable and older men aren’t going to be bothered with a tour for some kid.
The single, cheery, and interested men will be overly happy to show off their stuff for the kid. Understand there will be an immediate assessment of your availability. Is she wearing a ring? Is this your child if so why didn’t daddy come along?
This isn’t the first time this will have happened at the station. We have seen it before and we Know what is happening if you are single and that’s okay we welcome it, and know this, the majority of the time your actions will be viewed as a compliment and you will be safe with these men, nothing will happen if you don’t want it to.
The child will have a memorable day and get to do a bunch of stuff ever kids should get to do. We love being heroes for kids it is the best part of the job, and showing off for an attractive female, well that goes without saying.
You are in. Now any further action will be squarely in your court. If you have found a suitable candidate that you would like to test drive, you know what to do, unless you have no skills as a woman, and if that be the case, you have no business trying to land one of these beasts. Get out while you can.
I can assure that in the confines of the fire station you will encounter nothing but gentlemen. Once outside the red brick walls I will offer no guarantee.
More to follow on Friday. Cheers.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
It has been mentioned to me that I haven’t told you where to find your firefighter, good point, you have to find one to date one, so here are some tips on where the best hunting is.
The most obvious is of course the firehouse its’ self that is after all where your allusive prey lives. But how do you make an approach short of an actual emergency? This one is very simple and I will take through some real world experiences I participated in or observed first hand.
First off you can be either random or pre planned. I’ll use a shopping analogy to be more helpful as I believe shopping is something women are already good at naturally.
You can impulse shop, just literally go to any random store (read fire station) and see what is on sale that day, you don’t need any real clear idea of what you are after. You aren’t shopping for to use a Sex in the City reference "Manolo Blahnik" shoes. You are just shopping.
Now in retail salespeople are going to be happy to see you just walk in the door. At the fire station if you are an eligible woman (or for that matter any citizen we are by nature helpful people) and you show up we are going to try and discover what your need is and how we can help.
Here is your cover story, you need directions to someplace. Think about it for a moment, who knows the streets better than firefighters and we have maps. Do a little research; either go big or small but not common in your request.
For example don’t ask about an easy obvious street, you will immediately be perceived as a bubblehead. But do ask for say a short cut to the nearest highway or if you know an obscure little street ask about that. We won’t find fault in that request and many options will be suggested.
Pay attention to who is helping you, if you present yourself in just a tiny bit of sexy apparel and a splash of perfume the single alphas will present themselves. The married will as well but they will defer to the single guys (unless they are one of those guys and you don’t want them anyway) and be helpful but not aggressive.
Don’t use the absence of a wedding ring here as an indicator of material status, many guys don’t wear their bands at work as they tend to get hung up on stuff and rip your finger off.
You will have the full attention of the entire crew. Now shop. Is there anything you want to try on? Do you see anything in your size? If the answer is yes you know what to do. Show the salesman some interest in the product.
Remember these guys are working at a base level their senses at work are elevated, they’ll be cooperative. You may get an offer on a sale price right then. Here is a simple leave behind it’s called in sales. Ask this question of the man you want more interaction with.
“If I get lost can I call you guys for more help?”
Being the helpful lads they are you will see a flurry of pens removed from pockets. Now you have to decide at this point how much of a damsel in distress do you want to be? There is fine line between bubblehead and innocent. Don’t get me wrong some of these guys are only qualified for bubbleheads, after all they do run into burning buildings for a living, how sharp can they be?
So if you want to go bubblehead you can offer your phone number just in case you get cut off during a follow-up call. Because as soon as you are gone there will be an extensive discussion as to why you provided your number and who you gave it to.
They may run into burning buildings but they aren’t stupid and collectively they will come to the idea the number was left behind for the very purpose we are discussing here, you want a call from that guy. They’ll get there.
He’ll call you to see if you made it successfully to your destination. So take it from there he is on the hook.
But maybe you don’t want to be that overt, you aren’t comfortable with that much exposure. So just get the number to the station for your preplanned follow-up call, pay attention to the name tags, you want to either have “him” answer the phone or be able to request him by name when you call back.
Don’t worry about asking for him by name. First the guy answering the phone has no clue who you are when you call, second the guy you are asking for was more than likely the most helpful at the beginning. If he wasn’t, when you get him on the phone he isn’t going to ask you why you asked for him, he is going to get it, and if he does, just say his name was the only one you remembered.
Now it’s up to you, if interested he will do his part just lead him a little bit. If he isn’t interested you will know that as well, he won’t be rude, but he will be matter of fact and offer as little conversation as possible. Now let it go so you can prepare for your next move.
Your guy may be a bit slow out of the gates and lack the confidence to continue the hunt. Here is a simple follow-up, you need to know what shift he is on, just ask, say you want to tell the chief how impressed you were with how helpful his guys were, and you want to show your appreciation.
Next time his crew is on duty drop in and bring some cookies or some sweet to them. Another tip here, if you are a health nut about the way you eat and diet now is not a good time to show that. Don’t bring these men a low-cal, low-carb, high fiber, unsweetened, loaf of nuts and barriers. Okay? They will accept it with smiles, wait for you to leave, and then force the new guy to try it. When he rejects it will go in the trash.
Next time I’ll cover more strategies for finding your guy.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Let me continue.
3)If you continue to date you need to once again educate yourself on his work place. Calling and texting are not cool during what you could call business hours 9-5. We are working then, drilling, training, inspecting, and running calls.
Too much time on the phone could even lead your guy into some office time with his officer, so let him set the pace on this. If you text that you want to say hi and he doesn’t get back to you in your timeframe tough, he’s at work, he could be on a call or at drill. Sending another message in five minutes or ten minutes or half an hour isn’t going to score you any points. Lunch time is when we get lunch, it isn’t noon, same thing with dinner, we eat when we can, not by the clock.
If you want the work schedule of a businessman, date a businessman not a fireman. This brings up another good point, we work off a set calendar, most firefighters can tell you if given a few minutes if they will be working on Christmas day three years from now. Okay we work holidays, weekends, anniversaries, birthdays, and overtime.
If your man not being able to get off for some special day is a problem for you, oh well, deal with it. We work shifts and we can give you your very own personal copy of a shift calendar to help you keep track, just ask.
There is another phenomenon with firefighters called trades. A trade, at least for us is a really cool work privilege. Trades are the ability for us to get off of work by having another qualified firefighter come in and work for us. The department doesn’t care who is on the truck as long as the required number of personnel are.
So if a special need arises for us to get off work we can call one of our buddies on another shift and have them cover for us for a whole shift or a few hours.
The downside of trading is when it is time for payback your guy needs to go to work for his friend on a day he would normally have off. The point here is there is a great deal of flexibility in our work schedule but it has a downside of sometimes we just can’t get out of work for your special occasion. We also use this as a way to escape your requests sometimes.
“Oh sorry baby I’d love to meet your book club buddies but I have to pay this trade back.”
4)Guys will have a different personality at the fire station, just understand it has nothing to do with you. It’s all about his social standing within his crew. If you in anyway detract from his maleness, his feeling of being a man among men, you will suffer.
So if you sense he is a little standoffish when you come to visit, just be cool with it, don’t call attention to it. Don’t get your nose out of joint about it and don’t give him grief about it later either. Firefighting is a tough game and showing weakness around anyone over the age of six places doubt in the minds of others.
Showing up unexpectedly can be especially bad. You have no idea of what his crew is doing that day and if you show up when some particularly mundane work assignment is going on like mowing the lawn, or stripping and waxing floors is happening, your guy will be allowed to visit with you but he will pay a price.
Firefighters always honor the visits of friends and family of co-workers we welcome it and enjoy meeting the people that are important to our friends and because the firehouse is such a unique workplace it feels like a house, firefighters don’t have cubicles.
When you show up and he disengages from the work going on he is viewed as using you as a chance to get out of work. This happens because the chronically lazy firefighter does this in real life. When he discovers upon arriving at work that we are going to be stripping and waxing the apparatus floor for the day, will slip out call his wife or girlfriend and ask them to stop by the station. Then when you show up he uses that as an excuse to stop working.
No matter how tempting it feels to just pop by the station and say hi, don’t do it. Also, and I have seen this one firsthand, your hero might be serial dating. It’s really uncomfortable for the crew to watch I guy introduce his girlfriends to each other.
5)Don’t chase, period. These are almost all alpha males, once again it’s why you want one in the first place. So chasing will have the opposite effect, he’ll start dodging you. Let him chase, it’s in his DNA.
Most of us are acquainted with females that want a pet firefighter and we aren’t opposed to that fact for the most part. What we are familiar with is the overly aggressive/possessive chick. The ones that claim ownership way too early in the process, and we notice you quickly and we run away even more quickly from you.
Experienced women should already know this tactic but you guys seem to have an odd mental blank spot when it comes to us. The thrill of having your man in blue overrides your normal skill set and you become anxious. Take a breath and remember you are still dealing with a man, a high bread man a manly man, but at the same time an even more base male than usual.
Taking a bath in a high testosterone environment day in and day out causes these men to function at a level much closer to their primal ancestors then to the executives that control them. A whiff of perfume and the exposure of the correct amount and type of flesh is enough, to dilate their pupils and accelerate their heartbeat. Relax let them come to you.
More tips in the next post.