Monday, April 16, 2012

How to date a Firefighter cont.

Let me continue.

3)If you continue to date you need to once again educate yourself on his work place. Calling and texting are not cool during what you could call business hours 9-5. We are working then, drilling, training, inspecting, and running calls.

Too much time on the phone could even lead your guy into some office time with his officer, so let him set the pace on this. If you text that you want to say hi and he doesn’t get back to you in your timeframe tough, he’s at work, he could be on a call or at drill. Sending another message in five minutes or ten minutes or half an hour isn’t going to score you any points. Lunch time is when we get lunch, it isn’t noon, same thing with dinner, we eat when we can, not by the clock.

If you want the work schedule of a businessman, date a businessman not a fireman. This brings up another good point, we work off a set calendar, most firefighters can tell you if given a few minutes if they will be working on Christmas day three years from now. Okay we work holidays, weekends, anniversaries, birthdays, and overtime.

If your man not being able to get off for some special day is a problem for you, oh well, deal with it. We work shifts and we can give you your very own personal copy of a shift calendar to help you keep track, just ask.

There is another phenomenon with firefighters called trades. A trade, at least for us is a really cool work privilege. Trades are the ability for us to get off of work by having another qualified firefighter come in and work for us. The department doesn’t care who is on the truck as long as the required number of personnel are.

So if a special need arises for us to get off work we can call one of our buddies on another shift and have them cover for us for a whole shift or a few hours.

The downside of trading is when it is time for payback your guy needs to go to work for his friend on a day he would normally have off. The point here is there is a great deal of flexibility in our work schedule but it has a downside of sometimes we just can’t get out of work for your special occasion. We also use this as a way to escape your requests sometimes.
“Oh sorry baby I’d love to meet your book club buddies but I have to pay this trade back.”

4)Guys will have a different personality at the fire station, just understand it has nothing to do with you. It’s all about his social standing within his crew. If you in anyway detract from his maleness, his feeling of being a man among men, you will suffer.

So if you sense he is a little standoffish when you come to visit, just be cool with it, don’t call attention to it. Don’t get your nose out of joint about it and don’t give him grief about it later either. Firefighting is a tough game and showing weakness around anyone over the age of six places doubt in the minds of others.

Showing up unexpectedly can be especially bad. You have no idea of what his crew is doing that day and if you show up when some particularly mundane work assignment is going on like mowing the lawn, or stripping and waxing floors is happening, your guy will be allowed to visit with you but he will pay a price.

Firefighters always honor the visits of friends and family of co-workers we welcome it and enjoy meeting the people that are important to our friends and because the firehouse is such a unique workplace it feels like a house, firefighters don’t have cubicles.

When you show up and he disengages from the work going on he is viewed as using you as a chance to get out of work. This happens because the chronically lazy firefighter does this in real life. When he discovers upon arriving at work that we are going to be stripping and waxing the apparatus floor for the day, will slip out call his wife or girlfriend and ask them to stop by the station. Then when you show up he uses that as an excuse to stop working.

No matter how tempting it feels to just pop by the station and say hi, don’t do it. Also, and I have seen this one firsthand, your hero might be serial dating. It’s really uncomfortable for the crew to watch I guy introduce his girlfriends to each other.

5)Don’t chase, period. These are almost all alpha males, once again it’s why you want one in the first place. So chasing will have the opposite effect, he’ll start dodging you. Let him chase, it’s in his DNA.

Most of us are acquainted with females that want a pet firefighter and we aren’t opposed to that fact for the most part. What we are familiar with is the overly aggressive/possessive chick. The ones that claim ownership way too early in the process, and we notice you quickly and we run away even more quickly from you.

Experienced women should already know this tactic but you guys seem to have an odd mental blank spot when it comes to us. The thrill of having your man in blue overrides your normal skill set and you become anxious. Take a breath and remember you are still dealing with a man, a high bread man a manly man, but at the same time an even more base male than usual.

Taking a bath in a high testosterone environment day in and day out causes these men to function at a level much closer to their primal ancestors then to the executives that control them. A whiff of perfume and the exposure of the correct amount and type of flesh is enough, to dilate their pupils and accelerate their heartbeat. Relax let them come to you.

More tips in the next post.


Jenn said...

Aha a part little cousin is going to love reading this...wonder if shell still want a pet firefighter?? Lol. Great insight.

Fireman said...

Thanks Jenn more tips coming too. It's the old adage careful what you wish for right?

Sandra Tyler said...

GEEZ. starting to wish I was single just so I could go out on a "date." though a romantic one, you know? My husband and I try to have date nights but guess what. We talk about the kids. So romantic. Love the guy anyway.

Fireman said...

I know how you feel Sandra. I have hung up my boots on that front. Thanks as always for reading.

November Rain - k~ said...

Straight up, I have always liked that about you Tim. I'm sure that the firefighting world brings these rules to a crucial follow-or-else point, they are good tips for anyone who might consider dating this type of man. Good post... once again!

Fireman said...

Thanks Rain, straight up! More tips to come.

Kathy said...

This is good knowledge for anyone hoping todate a fireman!! Since I am already married, I won't need to follow any of your advice. :D I loved reading this!!


Fireman said...

Thanks Kathy, I have no idea why women want one but they aren't hard to find.

Karen said...

My grandfather and two uncles were firefighters. It is a community and culture all of its own. Sure, no one is perfect. But anyone that will walk into a burning building, hold the hand of someone just in a car accident or fight like hell because they can't see their buddy through the someone worth knowing. JMHO :)

shirls said...

Dating a fireman is the most difficult and confusing man I have ever dated. Takes patience and ALOT of time. You have to be flexible and understanding that he can also be called back for over time when he is supposed to have the day off. It is definately a learning curve. I am a bit cautious about dating a fireman because you do hear of the reputations for the cheating and serial dating. My firefighter is 45, a LT and insist he wants real love with a real woman. All I can do is have faith and treat carefully. The confusing part is he texts and calls to talk at length and then some times I get few text and calls. The inconsistency throws me off and makes me want to back off. Any advice for how I should proceed? We have been talking and dating for 2 months now. Also, glad you mentioned the alpha male...he referred to himself that way and so true. Thanks for all the info and any advice you may have!

Anonymous said...

I've recently start dating a ff.He claims that I'm the only one he's dating & that he only wants one woman.He works a lot! He told me 72's are no joke! I miss him when we're not together I really like him & he likes me.We enjoy each other's company.We've been on 3 dates but it seems like forever before we can see each other again.Its hard but I know if I wanna keep seeing him I have to be patient.

Tim Casey said...

Dear Anonymous,

It does suck dating a firefighter and getting used to our schedule. It's one of the downsides of dating us, the good news if your relationship grows, when you need some "me" time or a night out with the girls all you have to do is wait until he is on duty.