The first impact was too soft, I was worried that some portion of her might get in the way so I went easy. She giggled more and her towel fell down obstructing my view, I reapplied the towel and lined up another shot.
I nailed it a good one and I could see the vibrations from the impact translated across her flesh like the ripples of a stone tossed in a lake. The giggling continued with every hit, it was annoying her giggling, just the squelly tone and rise and fall of it like a roller coaster, grated on me.
I had to get the damn toilet off, sweat was now pouring from my forehead and getting in my eyes. My lieutenant asked if maybe one of the other guys should give it a shot. I said no as I once again moved her towel back into position and out of my face.
After too many delicate swings of the hammer I decided to whack the hell out of that damn bolt. It worked and the bolt went flying. “Got it.” I scrambled to my feet and helped the others pull the bowl.
Now you see firefighters have sneaky ways about them. My partners knew that once Mrs. Sthuck was freed, she going to have to be reexamined medically, and none of them wanted to do it. That meant who ever carried the toilet away would be exempt from the task.
A slight tug of war over the prized piece of porcelain ensued, I lost and the two other firefighters got possession of the bowl. “We’ll just carry this to the garage Lou.” “Yeah.” Was all the Lou said. I turned to address Mrs. Sthuck.
“Okay Mrs. Sthuck let me check you out before you get to moving around too much.” The towel had to be reapplied again. “Are you hurting anywhere?” I asked. She gave kind of a whole body shrug in an attempt to elicit any pain. “Well my back hurts, but it always hurts, and my legs have the pins and needles thing going on.”
I did a quick head to toe survey and found nothing out of the ordinary. “Let’s see if you can stand.” The Lou and I got in position to assist her to her feet. Good thing she had mostly dried out by now and we hadn’t put any lube on her arms or torso.
“Okay you ready Mrs. Sthuck?” I asked, “Yeah I think so.” “On three” the Lou said. He counted down and with all our collective efforts we restored Mrs. Sthuck to her feet.
She stood there nude, her hands out to her sides’ palms open just getting a feel for standing again. I grabbed the towel and tried to cover her. The children cheered their mother’s rescue and they squeezed past me to hug their mother.
“Oh thank you guys so much.” “No problem mama, that’s what we do.” Said the Lou, “If you’re sure you are alright we will be getting back in service now. Have a better day.” Said the Lou.
“What about my toilet” she asked. “I’m sorry.” The Lou turned back to her. “You have to put my toilet back.” “Oh sorry Mrs. Sthuck but we can’t do that. You need to contact a plumber for that.” He smiled at her.
“You took it off, now put it back.” Her tone changed abruptly and took on a very nasty edge. “I’m sorry but there is a liability if we put it back, if it were to leak and damage your house the city would be liable, so you’ll need to get a plumber or maybe a friend could help.”
“So you are refusing to put it back?” she took an aggressive and naked stance, it was unnerving to say the least. “I’m not refusing I’m trying to explain to you how this needs to be taken care of.”
“What is your badge number?” she asked. “We don’t have badge numbers, but I can give you one of my cards.” The Lou dug in his pocket and retrieved one of his cards and offered it to her. “I need you to write down all of your names on the back.” “Okay.”
The Lou began writing down the names as the other guys returned. “What’s going on?” asked one. “I’ll tell you what’s going on, your boss here won’t put my toilet back, so I’m going to file a complaint on all of you.”
The boys gave each other a look, “We’ll be with the truck Lou.” And poof they were gone. “I’m sorry you like that Mrs. Sthuck, my hands are tied on this it is a department policy. Is there anything else we can do for you before we leave?”
“If you aren’t putting the toilet back then it is time for you leave.” She kind of hissed this one. I was moving I didn’t need to hear or see any more of Mrs. Sthuck.
Sure enough she was good to her word and a few days later our district chief stopped by to discuss the call with us. The Lou explained it in detail and the chief took notes. None of us received any discipline over the matter but the department did pay the plumber’s charges.
Some days you are hero others you’re an ass.